How could I really marry someone so scum, someone that chastised, condemned and berated me, why did I not leave his hell of a marriage.  Or was it really marriage? I’m not actually sure it was anymore. Why did I stay till there was nothing left of me.

 

I was raised to be a strong women, but yet I allowed myself to be treated so badly by him, by this scum of a human being, who has no morals only to think about how he can get the most for himself out of every situation for himself. I guess unfortunately, the world has many people like this. But to treat your own wife so terribly, if you can't even treat your own wife better that a  stray dog on the side of the road, what hope can any type of relationship have.

 

Why did I not leave him? Why did I let him treat me like this? And still do?

 

I guess he can be glad that just like everything else in life he will achieve in our divorce, he will get the most money he can say to his selfish father, look I managed to walk away with everything, I took everything from her, I stole her sole, sucked the life out of her and then took every bit of money I could too just to completely leave her with absolutely nothing, trained of everything.

 

 

His father is who was kind enough to not even bother to return my emails, but instead to leave my belongs on my parents front law in garbage bags.

This man will be so proud of his amazing son on this brilliant achievement.

 

That his son, will  follows in his own foot steps to never be thoughtful or actually considered anyone else’s needs but there’s. The type of person that goes to a party and has everyone else buy him drinks all night and then comes home to say look I have all this money, because I didn’t have to spend a dime, I had everyone else to buy me rounds of drinks all night.

 

Least I no longer live with this person.

 

What did my marriage to him teach me? That I shouldn’t give, he is a selfish person and I hope he finds someone that is as selfish as him because no one else disserves to suffer they way I have.

 

What did I want in a marriage, I wanted a someone kind, someone supportive and who could offer patience when times were tuff, someone who cared and sometimes understood that my needs are important too. And while I felt that I married my Best friend, somehow I ended up married to my worst enemy.

 

This person who I supported, while he did everything while he did his MBA at Oxford, someone that I finically and mentally supported while he took 18 months to find a job after the MBA. Someone that when he hit his head and became this monster I took him food to him each morning and night in hospital so he that we would always have something gluten free that he could eat each day.

 

Some days I feel robbed, where is the amazing man that I married my true love. How can this person no longer exist.

 

And why do I let him belittle me? Why is it me always forgiving him? Why am I accepting of his selfish behaviour?

 

I let him take everything, till there was nothing left of me, I let him whip me with his words, till I bleed out and am nothing but empty skin and bones. I tried to fight but he was and is, so terrible and so hurtful and he knows how to hurt me the most after being with someone for 15 years he knows how to use my own values against me.

 

Least I have these left, my values are something he cannot take from me.

 

They let me know what I’m really about that I am a decent human being, that perhaps I trust to easily and love to hard, and give to others when I should be more selfish. But I am glad that I have these morals and values.

 

The choice was death or leave the marriage.

 

And I choose to live.